Waking Lee - Part II
by Pippa2233
Summary: This is the second part of a Chip/Lee slash story begun in Waking Lee. This is set in an AU and contains mature themes about a developing relationship between two men. If you don't enjoy slash you will hate this.
1. Chapter 1

Lee had made very few changes to the little seaside bungalow that NIMR had offered him along with the captaincy of the _Seaview_. He'd replaced the windows along the back with large French doors facing the ocean and combined the guest bath and the master bath into one large room. Chip would need to wait for his shower. And there was no doubt he'd wait. The big shower Lee had built into the bath was going to feel so good after the two months of water conservation called a shower on the boat.

Chip stripped off his uniform and wrapped a towel around his middle and stood looking out toward the dimly seen ocean. When ten minutes became fifteen he headed into the bath, suddenly concerned. "Lee, you okay?" he asked at the door, tapping gently.

When he got no response he stepped inside and saw his friend sitting on the floor of the shower, his knees drawn up, his head back against the tiled wall, the water beating down on his legs.

"Lee?" Chip dropped his towel and hurried in the open end of the big shower. "Lee, you okay?"

Lee looked up at him blearily, "Got dizzy."

"Did you fall?"

"Nah, sat down," Lee closed his eyes again.

"You can't sleep in here come on, stand up."

He helped Lee back up to his feet, "we need to rinse off the soap." Chip lifted Lee's semi limp arm until his friend's hand was on his shoulder and then shuffled over until the two of them were standing under the falling water.

"Close your eyes."

"Already closed." Lee's head was resting on Chip's chest, one hand on his shoulder the other around his waist. The warmth of his friend's body made him suddenly conscious that he was standing naked in the shower with the man he loved. Chip gently ran his hands through Lee's hair as the water washed down on them both. He grabbed the soap from the basin and began to lather Lee's back, enjoying the feel of his skin under his hands.

"Feels good," Lee said softly into his chest.

"You are so stoned," Chip chuckled, letting his hands move further down Lee's back until he was just above his buttocks the soap allowing his hands to glide effortlessly over the wet skin.

"Yeah, I feel really good."

"I bet," Chip said to himself, moving his hands back up Lee's back and down again. After a few minutes he slid around Lee until his friend's back was against his chest and he could soap and rinse his front. Again he started up high and allowed his hands to gradually move lower and lower with each pass until he was brushing against the thick swatch of hair at the bottom of Lee's stomach.

Lee lifted his head and turned it so he was facing Chip, "You're turning me on here, Mr. Morton."

Chip saw that Lee was indeed hardening and rising to meet his hands. He already had an enormous hard on of his own and was delighted to see Lee was as affected by their intimacy as he was. He leaned his head forward and gently kissed Lee's shoulder.

"Does that feel good, Captain?" he asked as he ran one soapy hand up Lee's penis, making only enough contact for Lee to feel him.

"Jesus," Lee arched his back against him, his head coming up so quickly he almost banged into Chip's. Encouraged by his friend's reaction, Chip repeated the maneuver, applying slightly more pressure.

"Chip?"

"Relax, enjoy," Chip said and brought his other hand slowly down Lee's chest and back up again, stroking him in time to his movements with his other hand. Lee's head was back against his shoulder his head resting against Chip's. Chip could feel his rapid breathing against his neck.

After two months at sea it only took a few moments to bring Lee to a shuddering climax, followed immediately by his own. He'd come from nothing more than holding his friend. Chip bent his head forward and kissed Lee on the neck as he rinsed the evidence of their shared intimacy from both of them. He turned Lee's suddenly limp body so they were again facing each other, keeping Lee's head tucked into his chest. He didn't think he wanted to see his friend's face just yet.

Chip reached past Lee and turned off the water and stood in the sudden silence of the shower, holding his friends wet body loosely. Too quickly the night air began to come into the shower chilling them both. He ran his hands down Lee's back for what he knew was the final time.

"Can you stand on your own?"

"Yeah."

Chip ducked out of the shower and grabbed a big fleecy towel and began carefully drying Lee, starting with his head and working his way down. Lee balanced with one hand on Chip's shoulder. Neither man said anything further as Chip quickly dried himself and helped Lee out of the bathroom and into his bed.

"Guess I shouldn't have taken that pill on an empty stomach."

"When did you eat last?"

Lee shook his head; sighing softly he closed his eyes.

Chip stood looking down at the most important person in his life as he slept. Lee's long eyelashes lay on his cheeks lost in the wide dark smudge marks that had come back from the mission, a sure sign of his exhaustion. Chip sat down on the edge of the bed and rested his hand on the top of Lee's head, needing to feel him again.

He'd taken the worst kind of advantage of Lee's vulnerability caused by too much pain medication and not enough food. He'd lost control, a thing he never did. He leaned forward and kissed Lee gently on the forehead. He'd drugged his friend and seduced him. He felt tears pricking in his eyes. He loved Lee and he'd done this to him.

He went into the spare bedroom and quickly dressed in clean clothes from his duffle. He needed to get away before Lee woke and remembered what he'd done. Maybe if he weren't here, maybe if the first thing Lee saw when he woke wasn't Chip Morton, maybe he wouldn't remember. Maybe if he remembered he wouldn't say anything. Maybe they could still be friends if he kept his distance and let Lee forget.

He stopped in the front entry holding his key in his hand. He'd betrayed ten years of friendship. He put the key down on the small table near the front door and after setting the lock walked out. It took all of his self-control not to put his fist through the window of his car. How could he have? It was no different than rape what he'd done, a complete betrayal of their friendship. Any hope he'd had for anything more was lost now, lost perhaps with a friendship that meant more to him than his life.


	2. Chapter 2

"You're here early, sir." Lee stood in the open door to Nelson's office, waiting for the other man to acknowledge him.

"Good morning, come on in." Nelson stood up from his desk and walked over to his coffee machine. "I started this when I came in, it should be ready by now."

The admiral poured two cups of coffee and handed one to Lee before gesturing toward the sofa. "I hoped you would take a couple of days off." Nelson said sitting down opposite Lee.

"That's why I stopped by. I'd like to take the rest of the week off, a few days any way," Lee quickly temporized. He paused and ran his hand back through his hair not meeting what he knew would be a fairly intense examination from Nelson. He'd been at the Institute for six months and he'd already missed several weeks of work from various injuries. He wasn't sure how far the admiral's tolerance for his missing work was going to stretch.

"Are you okay?" Nelson asked, the concern evident in his voice. "Did you stop by Medbay and get one of the doctors to check you out?"

At Lee's slight shake of the head Nelson gave him a stern look. "I'm planning to expand sickbay on the boat and hire a full time doctor just for _Seaview_. We won't be sailing any longer without the ability to handle our own medical problems."

"Sir, I'm fine. I was checked on the carrier after the team was picked up…"

"Lee, I'm looking right at you. You aren't fine, saying you're fine doesn't make you healthy. Now how badly hurt are you?"

"Honestly, sir, I'm sore from being tied up in an awkward position and I've got a couple of cracked ribs but nothing of any importance. I just need to get away, to think… I've got to try and sort out…" Lee looked away from the admiral toward the big windows that over looked the sub pen where he knew _Seaview_ laid waiting for him. "I know I've missed a lot of work…it's just…" Lee stopped and looked down at his ring as he slowly turned it around on his finger. "I know I've missed a lot of time, I just need…"

Nelson reached across the small coffee table and covered Lee's hand with his own. "Lee, its okay. You've saved the world twice in the six months you've been here. You've saved my life more times than that. I don't mind you missing a few days work when you've been beat up saving the world. I mind the beating but not the time to recover." Nelson paused until Lee looked up at him and then removed his hand.

"It's not me begrudging the time off you hear, it's my concern that you're asking for it. I've seen you working when any sane man would be in his bed. I'm worried that something has you so bothered that you're asking for time off. I'm hoping it's something I can help you with or if not me maybe Dr. Preston?" Nelson mentioned the name of the staff psychologist diffidently, doubting Lee would want to talk to the man and not wanting to discourage Lee from talking by bringing in the medical profession.

Lee nodded his head as if he were agreeing to something before looking back down at his hands again. "Its personal, sir, doesn't have anything to do with the mission. Something came up. I think I've done something I shouldn't have, made an error of judgment. I need to get away, to think it through. I can't here, it's too close…" Lee trailed off and shrugged his shoulders in an uncharacteristic gesture, "Its complicated."

"And you don't want to talk about it because it's personal?" Nelson said after a long silence. "Something personal that came up between the time you left the boat at 0100 and 0630 this morning?"

"If this isn't a convenient time for me to be gone I can certainly wait and go on the weekend." Lee said, straightening in his chair and moving his hand away from his ring.

"I have a cabin near Yosemite, it's about a six hour drive. Take as long as you need up there. Work through whatever is bothering you and when you're ready, come back and talk to me. Tell me what you want to do." Nelson paused, waiting for Lee to meet his eyes again. "I don't want to lose you, Lee, you're very important to me not just as the captain of S_eaview_. Whatever's bothering you, we can work it out."

"I don't want to go, sir. This job, this place, the people here…they're very important to me. I…" Lee looked away. "I need to think."

"You take the time you need, but don't decide anything final without giving me a chance to talk to you, okay? Whatever's happened we can deal with it. I'm your friend, Lee, I want you to stay."

Lee stood up without speaking or looking at Nelson. When he got to the door he stopped with his back to the room and the admiral. When he thought he could bring it off convincingly, he turned and smiled. "Thank you, sir."

"Angie will give you directions to the cabin. Call me in a day or so, let me know you're doing all right."

Lee nodded but remained frozen at the door. He didn't know how to thank Nelson for this generosity, not the cabin, kind as that was, but the time, the lack of questions, the friendship. "Thank you."

"You're very welcome. Now go do your thinking and come back and tell me your answers."

"Yes, sir." Lee turned away.

"Oh, and Lee, stop on your way and buy some food. The cabin is run on one of the NIMR fuel cells so everything is up and operational, but there's no food and you need to eat while you think."

Lee turned back, hoping that he didn't look as young and foolish as he felt, "Yes, sir, I'll eat and sleep."

"Don't promise too much, just do your best."

Smiling more broadly Lee nodded, "Yes, sir, eat and sleep."

"Good boy, now go, come back next week, a smart, well fed, well rested captain ready for work." Nelson made a shooing gesture with his hand as he rose from the couch and Lee left the office feeling considerable less despair.


	3. Chapter 3

Nelson had started his second cup of coffee and the cruise reports that Angie had brought with the fresh coffee, when Chip appeared at his door.

"Good morning, sir."

"Chip?" Nelson looked up surprised. Unlike Lee it was unusual for Chip to stop by his office without an appointment.

"I was looking for the skipper, Angie said he'd been in to see you and maybe you knew where he'd gotten to?"

"Come in, Chip, would you like a cup of coffee?" He decided if anyone at NIMR would know what was bothering Lee it would be Chip. As far as Nelson knew Lee hadn't had any contact with his adopted family since he'd gone to Annapolis ten years earlier. Most of what passed for a personal life for Lee Crane resided around NIMR and Chip Morton and Chip's family.

Chip took a reluctant step forward and stopped, "I'm good, sir, working on my second cup in my office. I was just looking for the skipper and thought you might know…"

"Yes," Nelson paused, studying Chip more closely, the other man looked very uncomfortable. Nelson suspected that L_ee's personal problem _and Chip's obvious discomfiture were related. It was certainly unusual enough for one of them to show up with a non-work related problem in his office, let alone, both of them. Too unusual to be a coincidence.

"Come in and sit down, Chip." Nelson almost smiled as he watched the young officer reluctantly come the rest of the way into his office and sit down opposite his desk. He looked like a little kid being called into the principal's office.

Chip had been fast tracked as both a jg. and a Lieutenant so that he'd made his Lt. Commander rank at the very young age of twenty-seven. His youth and lack of experience as an XO had made John Phillips hesitant about Nelson's desire to have him for _Seaview's_ exec. But Nelson had been adamant and John had acquiesced. Phillips had been no Lee Crane to argue with a four star admiral. A good man, careful and by the book, a good captain to get _Seaview_ ready for sea but not the man to command her when giant squids grabbed her or aliens were in the missile room.

Chip on the other hand had proven to be just the XO Nelson had expected. The perfect number two for the Lee Crane Nelson had always been determined he would have for _Seaview_. Now Lee was off in the woods, agonizing over something, and he very much wondered if that perfect exec might not know what was going on with his captain.

Realizing he'd been quiet too long, Nelson cleared his throat and nodded his head by way of apology, "Lee was in here this morning."

"Yes, sir."

Nelson pursed his lips slightly at Chip's response. Morton was nothing if not the perfect subordinate with a command face that made him one of the most formidable poker players Nelson had ever met. Although it was Lee with his relaxed style and unpredictability that beat Chip every time. Lee who knew when to take the long shot chances and when to play the conservative hand that brought the same élan to the poker table that he brought to commanding _Seaview_. Lee who Nelson suspected was sitting in his cabin considering his resignation for some reason that stone faced Chip Morton might very well know.

"He was quite upset about something," Nelson tried to study Morton surreptitiously. Watching he guessed for some sort of guilty start that would tell him that the young officer knew more than he was telling about Lee Crane's _personal problem_. He didn't need to study too hard as he watched the blood drain from Chip's face at his next comment. "He said he had a personal problem he had to deal with and he took the rest of the week off to work on it." Nelson waited a minute for some comment from Chip. He became concerned though when Chip opened and closed his mouth twice without saying a word.

"I gather you know something about this?"

"Sir?" Chip managed in a very unconvincing voice.

"Try again, Mr. Morton," Nelson hardened his voice slightly, trying for the command tone that flag officers could bring to bear on Lt. Commanders.

"Yes, sir, I think perhaps I do." Chip looked the admiral in the face now, "I think I need to speak to Lee, sir."

"I assume you spoke to him last night causing this _problem_?"

Chip licked his lips and looked away from the admiral. Straightening slightly in the chair he said, "Yes, sir, but clearly I didn't say enough. Do you know where Lee is?"

Now it was Nelson's turn to hesitate and look away. Lee had certainly wanted to be alone while he worked his way through whatever was bothering him.

"Sir, I'm the cause of the problem, I need to talk to him, to explain. He needs to talk to me, sir, please."

Nelson looked at Morton, surprised by the note of pleading in the other man's voice. This was not the Chip Morton he thought he knew, the cool, in command XO unbothered by any of the myriad bizarre things that had happened on the _Seaview_ in the nearly two years they'd served together. This was a man asking for help, nearly begging.

"He told me he wanted to be alone, to think through his problem. Are you sure that he's going to want you there?"

"No, sir, I'm not, but I'm part of the problem and I need to let him know there isn't a problem. I need to talk to him, to explain…" Chip stood up and walked across the office and back again. "I've made a mess, sir, I need to talk to Lee, to explain if I can."

Nelson very much wanted to ask for an explanation himself. After pausing to think he decided that his interest was concern for these two young men who he'd come to think of as much more than fellow officers, not any true need to know.

"Sit down, let me think for a minute." Nelson took out a cigarette and went through the comforting ritual of lighting up and drawing that first, best draft of smoke into his lungs. He wondered for the thousandth time, how something he enjoyed so much could be so bad for him.

"He's gone to my cabin in the mountains; he left about four hours ago."

Chip made no response, sitting with a stillness that had eluded him previously. He gazed off beyond Nelson's shoulder as though he'd received some terrible news.

"I don't know what you dumped on him last night to upset him this much but I don't think it showed very good judgment on your part. He was already off balance from whatever happened on San Lucca. He's very down now." Nelson paused to play with the cigarette while he decided how much more to say. "He sounded as if he was thinking about leaving."

This brought Chip back from whatever reverie the previous announcement had caused. "Leave, sir?" Morton rubbed his forehead distractedly. "God, what a mess."

"Would you care to elucidate?"

"I can't, sir, not until I speak to Lee. This is my fault, I need to talk to him… to try and explain."

"Yes, I think Lee said words very similar to those. All right, Mr. Morton, you too have the rest of the week off. I suggest you spend today clearing your desk. Give Lee some time to think. Then get the address of the cabin from Angie and see if you and Lee can talk this through. If you can't… Well if the two of you can't talk to each other and straighten this out, you're both going to need to talk to me. I don't know what's going on here, but I'm not running some sort of out patient therapy office."

"Ah, yes, sir, thank you. We'll get it straight, I promise. Lee won't leave, if someone has to go it'll be me, I won't let him do anything stupid."

With those enigmatic words Chip got quickly to his feet and left a very perplexed Admiral Nelson, watching his retreating back. He took the last pull on his cigarette and decided that Chip must have made some sort of ultimatum about ONI. He couldn't think of anything else the two could possibly have so badly fallen out over. As far as Nelson knew they'd been best friends, brothers in all but blood for the ten years that they'd known each other. He'd watched Chip wear a path through the _Seaview_ when Lee was missing on one dangerous mission or another, only to wear another streak through Lee when he got back. The two had teased, played practical jokes and supported and cared for each other for as long as Nelson had known them. They would figure this out too. They had too much invested in their friendship for them not to!


	4. Chapter 4

Lee dropped his bag in the entryway of the cabin and slowly walked through the rooms. The cabin was post and beam with big windows over looking a deck not twenty feet from a big blue lake. Lee walked out the door to the deck and down the stairs to the pier that stretched into the water. He stood on the end of the pier and looked at the mountains.

He was so tired he couldn't think. He could barely walk. He'd never even gone to bed the last night on the boat and the next night they'd docked and ….he shied away from thinking about what he'd done last night, in the shower…. He ran his hand through his hair, wincing as his ribs pulled, and turned away from the dock.

He couldn't talk to Nelson about this. Not yet, not until he'd had time to think it through. Time to figure out if what he'd done required that he resign. When he'd thought it all through, remembered clearly what had happened. That would be the time to go to the admiral. He'd confess his actions. But only when he'd had a chance to figure out what he wanted to do. He sighed slightly, if he actually had a choice.

Maybe there were no choices here - when a man used his position as he had. When an officer had sex with a subordinate in his chain of command was there really any choice of action? Would going away for a few days make any difference in his choices? Was he postponing the inevitable because he couldn't bring himself to do what his honor and his duty required?

There was a wide trail beginning just past the dock that appeared to head along the lakeshore. He started walking as a substitute to thinking. He concentrated hard on the beautiful views of the lake and surrounding mountains. He admired the straight pines along the trail, the snow still lying in their shadows. Early April in Santa Barbara was late spring; here it was the end of winter. He pulled his hoody closed and zipped it up to his neck and looked around for something else to admire, something to think about besides Chip and Nelson and if he had any future with either one of them.

Chip pulled in next to Lee's car and turned off the engine and sat. He looked at the cabin and the lake, or as much as he could see of either one in the rain soaked twilight. It'd begun raining half an hour north of Santa Barbara. The thermometer had kept falling and the rain had gotten harder and suspiciously whiter the further he went into the mountains. Still early spring this high, he'd been lucky it was sleet and rain and not snow. Although, he looked at the drifted sleet in the driveway around Lee's car, it could well be snow by morning.

Sighing softly to himself, he climbed out of the car and grabbed his bag from the back. The rain was freezing on his neck and face and he hurried, as much as the slick footing would allow, up the sleet-covered walkway to the cabin. He knocked on the door not wanting to walk in on Lee unexpectedly if he hadn't heard the car.

Getting no answer he tried the door and finding it open called into the house, "Hello, hey Lee, it's Chip, you there buddy?"

Still no answer, he went inside, dropping his bag by the door and wandering down the hall into the big room that stretched the whole length of the cabin. Even in the rain and gloom the view of the lake and mountains was spectacular and he paused a minute looking out the wall of glass. The wind had come up and the lake was alive with small white caps. The sound of the sleet and rain hitting the windows made him shiver even though the cabin was warm.

"Lee, Lee?"

Chip saw Lee's bag by the couch and leaving it there ran lightly up the stairs to the second floor loft. He checked the three bedrooms and looked out the windows over the lake. Nothing. Shit.

Chip came back down and went into the kitchen. The kettle sat on the back of the gas range, empty and cold to the touch. He hadn't even made a cup of coffee, so he hadn't spent any time in the cabin at all. Chip stopped and thought. Lee was upset. Chip didn't want to dwell on why it was that his friend was so unbalanced that he'd literally run for the hills but Lee had run. Running up here what would he have done next?

Gone to the lake and what? He would have kept running. Too sore to run, as Lee liked to do to work his way through a problem, he would have walked. Chip went back to the entryway and grabbed a warm coat off the rack of miscellaneous jackets. He had to try a couple to find one that fit and then he paused to think.

Yeah, Lee would have come up here, gone and looked at the water and started walking at 1200 hours when the sun had been shining and it was a beautiful day. Chip grabbed a second jacket and a flashlight and headed down toward the lake.

It only took him a minute to decide that Lee would head north on the trail around the lake. His friend would have been on autopilot so he would have gone north. When he walked along the shore in front of his cottage in Santa Barbara he always headed north away from the city beaches and the Institute. So Chip began walking, his head down to avoid the worst of the blowing sleet.

He met up with Lee half an hour later, nearly knocking him over. Lee was walking head down, seemingly half dazed with the cold. Chip had had his eyes firmly on the ground watching his footing and avoiding the wind in the collar of his jacket. So he didn't see Lee until he walked into him.

"Hey." Chip said, grabbing Lee, who'd swayed to a stop and didn't appear any too steady on his feet.

Lee stood still looking at him and then smiled. "Chip? I was thinking about you."

Chip noticed the words came out slower than Lee's norm and the 'th' of 'thinking' was slightly slurred. Not good. He pulled out the spare jacket he'd been carrying under his own coat and threw it over Lee's shoulders. He could feel Lee shivering through the wet hoody he was wearing. He wanted to put his arm around him to try and offer some warmth but thought he'd better keep some distance after the previous night and Lee's run. Instead he grabbed Lee's upper arm and turned back toward the cabin.

The walk back was made in silence. Chip could feel Lee shivering and by the time they arrived at the cabin he was wet and cold as well. It was with great relief that he shut the door on the rain and wind. The two men stood together in the entryway, too relieved to be out of the weather to move.

"Guess winter's still got some life in it up here." Chip offered.

Lee nodded without raising his bowed head, his arms wrapped tight around his body.

"I brought some groceries, I'll warm up something." Chip offered to the silent form in front of him. "You go change into something dry."

When Lee made no comment Chip reached over and grabbed his two forearms. "Lee, you need to get warm and dry."

"Yeah," Lee said to Chip's enormous relief.

Once Chip saw Lee move toward the big room he headed into the small kitchen and started the stove. A few minutes poking in cabinets and he had a pan of soup on heating.

He went into the living area. Lee was in front of the picture windows looking out at the storm.

"There's heat, is there hot water too?" Chip said, trying for a light tone and not wanting to mention the word shower. Lee turned and looked at him and Chip hoped that the blush he knew had inflamed his face wasn't showing in the dim early evening gloom.

"Yeah, he's got a fuel cell hooked up to the place." Lee turned back toward the window and swayed slightly. He reached out to rest his hand against the glass. "What are you doing here?"


	5. Chapter 5

He reached out to rest his hand against the glass. "What are you doing here?"

"I came to apologize, to try and make it right between us again, if I can." Chip stopped. How was he supposed to make what he'd done right? Was it ever possible to make something like that right even with a friend as close as Lee. "Lee, I don't …."

"I'm so sorry, Chip, I had no right. I'm your CO, what I did…" Lee interrupted him. "I'm so sorry."

Chip grabbed his arm, "What you did? You give yourself way too much credit, Captain. You aren't the prime mover of every event."

"What are you talking about?"

"I seduced you. You must have been higher on that pain medication than I thought if you didn't get that part straight. I love you and… no," Chip shook his head. "Let me be totally honest, I saw you in that shower, you looked so lost, and so beautiful." Chip released his hold and reached up to touch Lee's face gently with the tips of his fingers. "I saw you and I thought I'd help you, but when I touched you and you didn't pull away…" Chip dropped his hand down to Lee's shoulder. "Once I had my hands on you I don't think any power on earth could have stopped me."

Chip decided as long as he was confessing he'd tell the whole truth. Tell Lee everything and rely upon Lee being the man he loved to understand. "I love you, I'm sorry, I tried to be satisfied with your friendship but… I love you, I wanted more." He stepped back dropping his hands to his sides, "And now I've ruined everything."

Chip turned and started back toward the kitchen, rubbing his hands across his face, surprised not to find them wet with tears. How had he expected this to turn out? Had he thought that Lee was going to suddenly decide he was gay? Suddenly decide he wanted to be Chip's lover. What kind of an idiot was he?

"Chip, Chip," Lee grabbed him by the upper arm and spun him around, as he turned Lee grabbed his other shoulder and held him. "My God, you're a romantic, I never knew." Leaning forward he kissed Chip, a soft, gentle meeting of their lips. Chip looked at Lee with astonishment as the other man straightened.

"What?"

"That was the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me. You love me, that's like…" Lee paused obviously groping for words, "you love me."

"You kissed me, was that pity or what?"

"That was I love you, stupid, my God you may be romantic but you can be a bit dense at times, " Lee laughed.

"Don't shit with me, Lee, this is my life we're talking about," Chip spoke with sudden violence, stepping back from Lee.

"I hope, if everything you said before is true, that it's our lives I'm talking about." Unlike Chip, Lee spoke very softly and stepped toward his friend extending his hand. "Chip…"

"You're sure, I thought, last night, I thought," Chip ran a hand over his face. "This isn't a friendship/pity thing is it?"

"I'm not sure what this is but I can guarantee it isn't pity. Friendship, yeah, I hope so, but we've been friends for years, most of my life I think. Last night…now… this is different."

Chip reached up with both hands and cupped Lee's face, "Please don't say this if you don't mean it, please. I love you, I didn't mean to but I do."

Lee smiled his big beautiful smile, "I'm glad."

Chip pulled Lee toward him gently touching his lips to his friend's in a tentative kiss. Lee's hand came up to Chip's shoulder and the kiss gradually deepened. Lee opened his mouth to the soft probing of Chip's tongue and the kiss became so much more, a declaration of love and a recognition of passion shared.

Chip pulled back so he could look at his friend's face. He gently ran his hand down Lee's cheek until it rested on his neck. "You're freezing, we need to get you warm."

"Do you think you can do that?"

"Oh my God, the soup."

"I don't want soup." Lee said, smiling again.

Chip kissed the smile. He kissed the cold neck and the warm lips. He kissed Lee's chest as he removed his shirt. He ran his hands up Lee's naked back and took his nipple into his mouth and then he kissed Lee's lips again. When he had to breathe he stood studying Lee before he kissed him again. He was afraid to let him go, afraid that some how this wasn't all true.

"I smell burning soup." Lee said softly, his lips next to Chip's ear.

"Right," Chip captured the lips again and tried to reach Lee's heart with his tongue.

Lee pushed him away, "Go turn the stove off, I'll find us a place to sleep."

Chip kissed him and when Lee started to walk toward the stairs, Chip ran after him and caught him by the arm and turned him. When Lee stopped, Chip kissed him again. "Don't go, come with me." Chip said breathlessly, his lips an inch from Lee's. "I'm scared you'll get lost or change your mind."

Lee kissed him and the two of them embraced tightly, hands all over each other, erections held tight together. Erections, that was Lee's penis Chip could feel through their pants. Lee hard and loving him. Lee freezing and shivering.

"You're freezing."

"Can you fix that?"

"I can try." Chip kissed him again.

The soup had boiled away and what was left was the black bottom of the pan. Chip turned the stove off and left the pan in place. He turned to see Lee standing, shirtless, in the middle of the kitchen his arms wrapped around his middle, shivering again.

"What were you doing out in that storm, you could have died. You are such a jerk," Chip felt himself getting angry and stopped. He didn't understand the sudden anger. He normally had his emotions under perfect control, crewman could do incredibly stupid things and he'd feel no anger. Yet, here was Lee, cold and he was so angry he wanted to break something.

"You've got to get out of those wet clothes." Chip worked hard to keep his tone even but knew by the look on Lee's face that he'd failed.

"Thought you were working on that, the getting rid of the wet clothes," Lee touched his naked chest.

"I'm sorry… I …" Chip stepped forward and enfolded Lee into his arms, kissing his neck as Lee rested his head on Chip's shoulder. "I'm sorry, I hate seeing you hurting and …."

Lee put his hand on Chip's back, "Warm me up then."

"Come on we're going upstairs to bed, you're freezing."

"Tell me something I don't know."

Chip had to help Lee up the stairs as the other man again swayed. He hadn't realized how tired Lee was.

"What were you doing walking out there in that storm any way?"

"Was nice when I started. I lost track…I was thinking and I lost track…" Lee shrugged against Chip's supporting arm and leaned his head on the closest shoulder. "Was really glad to see you."

"Don't you fall asleep standing up, get those wet clothes off." Chip left Lee standing in the bedroom, releasing his hold gradually as he was sure Lee would remain up right. Ducking into the bathroom he grabbed a couple of towels and carefully dried Lee's hair and body as the other man held to him with one hand while peeling off his remaining wet clothes.

"I can't get these laces," Lee half sat half fell onto the bed and bent toward his wet boots and would have kept falling to the floor had Chip not grabbed him.

"Whoa, I got that you just sit, when did you eat last?" Chip asked, as he bent to the knotted laces.

Lee gently stroked his friend's naked back as he worked on the mess of muddy shoe. "Wasn't hungry…you're wet too."

"Yeah, but I was out there for an hour not most of the day and I'm not exhausted, half starved and recovering from a beating. There, lie down, I'm going to go find some more blankets." Chip helped Lee to lie back in the bed and covered him with a down comforter.

"Come to bed, we can do the Eskimo thing," Lee suggested, smiling, his dark lashes shadowing his tired eyes.

"Believe me we're doing the Eskimo thing," Chip laughed, "but we're doing it under a couple more blankets."

Chip found two more blankets in a chest at the foot of the bed and threw them across Lee. Then he removed his own wet pants and shoes and dried off on one of the towels. Quick as he was by the time he climbed into the bed Lee was half asleep. He roused when Chip put his arm around him and pulled himself up to Lee's back, kissing his shoulders and neck.

"You like this, you don't mind?" Chip asked, unable to believe this was happening, even lying as he was next to Lee.

"I love you," Lee said in a drowsy voice. He turned so he was facing Chip. "I thought…last night … I thought I must have said something, done something that you did that. It was wrong for me, I'm your CO…"

"You're my best friend," Chip interrupted, putting his hand over Lee's lips to stop his talking. "I knew you were woozy from the pain medication, I took advantage of you. I came to apologize this morning but I took too long, getting up the nerve. I was in the wrong, not you."

Lee shook his head and Chip moved his hand so he could kiss him. Smiling he said, "You are so stubborn, and so not responsible for everything that happens in the world. Sometimes things happen, and sometimes they're good things."

"I'd never realized, in the shower last night, that was… I'd never, you know…"

"I do know, that's why I never thought you would let me and when you said it was okay, it was like… It was like the happiest day of my life. Later I thought what I'd done when you were, well stoned, I thought I'd betrayed you." Chip pulled Lee's head forward so he nestled into the crook of his neck. It felt so good, so right to hold his love this way.

They lay like that for a long while, not saying anything. Chip knew Lee was too tired for the many things he wished to do to him, now that he had him in his bed. He gently smoothed his hand down the back of Lee's head and shifted a little so he was in a more comfortable position. Lee had stopped shivering and for now that would be enough for him. Lee was safe. Lee was in his arms. Lee loved him. He guessed that should be enough for anyone.


	6. Chapter 6

Nelson closed the cover on the file and shoved it to the edge of his desk. Leaning back in his chair he lit a cigarette and turned so he could look out the windows toward the ocean. His thoughts drifted back to his morning meetings with Lee and Chip. He remembered how tired Lee had been on the boat and the night he'd found him on the floor in his stateroom. He hoped that Chip wasn't up at the cabin riding Lee about his work for ONI. This wasn't the time. Whatever had happened on that last mission had bothered Lee a lot. He needed rest and the support of his friends while he dealt with the events on San Lucca, not the aggravation of Chip raging about ONI.

He shouldn't have told Chip where Lee was. He'd offered Lee a sanctuary at the cabin and then sent Chip up there after him. He tried to remember why he'd given Chip the information. There had been something when Chip came in his office. He'd seemed so desperate. It hadn't felt like Chip wanting to rag on Lee about ONI. It had felt more urgent. Still…

Nelson pulled his iPad toward him and checked his calendar for the next few days. There was no reason he couldn't take off a couple of days, go up to the lake himself, see his boys, make sure they were okay.

Nelson shoved back from the desk and snubbed out his cigarette. He'd go in the morning and be up there before lunch. He'd stop and buy steaks; they could grill on the deck and talk. He'd get Lee to talk about San Lucca. He'd get both boys to talk about whatever was going on that had one of them running off to the mountains and the other chasing after him. They were a family; they'd work this out.

Chip woke to find Lee still tucked against his side, his own cheek resting against the top of his friend's head. He gently kissed Lee's hair, breathing in the scent of him. He slowly moved his free arm down Lee's chest to his stomach and back up again, gently feeling the smooth skin under his palm. So beautiful, so warm. Too warm, damn he had a fever again.

"I can hear you thinking, stop it, I'm fine," Lee said, rolling over in Chip's arm and giving him a soft kiss.

"You've got that fever back," Chip accused with more vehemence than he actually felt.

"Actually," Lee kissed him again and looked up, "think it might be a new fever, but don't start, I'm a big boy a little fever isn't going to kill me. And I do feel hot just now," Lee's smile became more roguish and he stretched up and captured Chip's mouth with his. "Don't want a mother here." He said, when they'd finished an in depth exploration of each other's mouths.

Chip rolled Lee on to his back, careful of injured ribs and bruised stomach.

"I think what you need is a nurse, but what you're getting is a lover." He returned Lee's smile before descending upon his mouth.

In a few moments the two of them were all over each other with hands and mouths, exploring and exciting as they traded caresses and kisses. Chip wanted to be on top of Lee and inside him and under him all at the same time, but he was so afraid of hurting Lee. He didn't know if he could control himself if they continued and tried to pull away.

"What?" Lee asked, releasing his hold on Chip as the other man sat up and moved away.

"I'm going to hurt you, I don' t think I can control myself much longer, Jesus you are so beautiful." Chip pushed himself toward the edge of the bed but was stopped by Lee's hand on his arm.

"Don't you dare go all caregiver on me, you started this. I could have lived my life as your best friend, but now… I want what you offered the other night."

"God, Lee," Chip turned back and threw the covers off Lee. He put his leg over Lee's hips and sat back on his own heels, careful to put no weight on any injured anatomy. "I could screw you to the bed, but you're injured we need to be careful."

"Don't squeeze my ribs, okay, but the parts you're really interested in," Lee smirked, "they're just fine."

"Are you sure, Lee? If I do something you don't want, if…." Chip was suddenly unsure and didn't think he could bear to start this and find that Lee didn't want what he had to give.

"I love you." Lee gave him that shy through the lashes look that had won Chip's heart so many years ago.

"You are mine," Chip said and then proceeded to prove it to both of their pleasures.

"Oh dear Lord," Lee sighed as Chip and he enfolded each other in their arms. Lee again snuggled against Chip's chest in that place he'd found last night that made them both feel so loved. "I never knew."

Chip kissed the top of his head while his hands stroked down Lee's back.

"Knew what, babe?"

"I'm not sure," he could feel the soft exhalation of Lee's breath against his chest as he laughed, "knew it could be so good, knew I could love anyone so much. I feel so safe here. Its entirely different with a woman…"

Now Chip laughed, "I should hope so."

"No, I mean with a woman I have to hold myself back, be careful, be on guard, but this, this … I don't know. I felt so safe last night, I could sleep because Chip was there and I was safe."

Chip tipped Lee's head up and kissed him hard on the mouth. He scrunched down in the bed so their foreheads were touching and they were looking directly into each other's eyes. "Because no one could touch you without killing me first."

Lee kissed him, "You are really hot when you come over all macho."

"And the rest of the time?"

"You are really hot all the time."

They lay in each other's arms for a long while until Chip gave Lee a soft kiss and said, "If we don't get up and shower we may be stuck together here for life."

"I could live with that." Lee said drowsily.

"Shower, clean sheets and then we can try something else," Chip suggested.

Lee opened his eyes and turned his head on the pillow they shared until he could see Chip. "Really?"

"Gonna' be good, trust me." Chip kissed him chastely on the cheek and rolled away and off the bed. "I'm going to shower and make us some breakfast."

An hour later they were sitting on the couch, watching the snow fall out the big picture windows.

"There must be three feet of snow out there. Where did that come from, we are so stuck here." Lee lamented.

"Hope so," Chip shifted a little closer to Lee, "I think this might be paradise. We should go rest in case we need to shovel snow or something later."

Lee cocked an eyebrow at his friend. "Rest?"

"Yeah, eventually, first I need to work up a good case of exhaustion, you willing to help?"

"Might, could be."

It took them another ten minutes to disengage from the preliminaries and get back up to the bedroom. Chip yanked the sheets off the bed while Lee found a clean set. Once the bed was remade Chip threw all the linens in the washing machine along with their wet clothes from the night before.

"We may need those sheets clean in a little while," he said, coming back into the bedroom and incasing Lee in his arms. "You up to a little more loving or do you need to rest?"

"Let me think, screwing the sexiest XO in the world or sleeping, gosh that's tough, maybe…"

Lee never got to finish as Chip captured him in another soul-searching kiss that lasted until the two of them were aching for breath. Chip's hands were all over Lee, pulling the bathrobe off him, running up and down his back and along his ribs. He kept his touch feather light, feeling the heat of his friend's bruises. Pulling his mouth from Lee's he looked into his green gold eyes with concern.

"I've never seen your eyes that color," he said, surprised out of his concern for Lee's injuries.

"What are they glowing red?"

"Nah, never seen them that color, must be the way you look just before someone screws your brains out."

"Really?" Lee asked, with a look of scientific detachment, "Is that likely to happen?"

"It's about to happen, if you'll let me?"

"On the first date, Mr. Morton, gosh I don't know if I should?"

Chip took Lee's arm and pulled him over to the bed and sat beside him. He took Lee's hand in both his and brought it to his mouth. He kissed his palm and the back of his hand before reaching up to recapture Lee's mouth with his own.

"Lie down and relax, let me do everything, this is going to be the most perfect experience of your life."

It felt so perfect, so right, this was what his whole life had been meant to be, he and Lee together.

Groaning softly, Chip lowered himself to the bed beside Lee, capturing his face with his hands so he could kiss him deeply. Once their lips had parted, he kissed him on both cheeks and on his forehead. "I love you, that was fantastic."

Lee reached up with his hand and stroked Chip's face, "You're beautiful and that was… that was wonderful."

"Are you okay? I didn't hurt you did I?" Chip ran his hand down Lee's chest over the sore ribs.

"I'm feeling no pain," Lee said.

"That I doubt very much," Chip kissed him, his tongue deep in Lee's mouth. He wanted to pull Lee tight to him, to bury himself deep in that special place again. He smiled as he realized he was getting hard. He took Lee's hand and pulled it down until his fingers were on his cock. "You're going to kill me."

"I love you," Lee gently took hold of his friend and ran his fingers down his stiffening member until he reached his balls. He slowly stroked him. "Again?" Lee asked, kissing Chip before sinking his head into the hollow between his lover's neck and his shoulder. "I love you."

"Later," Chip kissed the top of his head, "go to sleep." Chip lay back against the pillow, holding Lee with one arm. He ran his free hand down Lee's body until he felt him relax and fall asleep. Once he was sure Lee was sleeping he kissed the top of his head again, "I love you so much." Closing his eyes he rested his head against Lee's so his nose was buried in his friend's hair. He fell asleep inhaling the scent of Lee with every breath.


	7. Chapter 7

Nelson thanked the driver of the big four-wheel drive snowplow and stepped down into the snow. He hitched his duffle onto his shoulder and began the half-mile walk into his cabin. He'd get a ride into the village for his car with Lee in the morning after they were plowed out. The important thing now was to finally arrive at the cabin.

The snow was heavy and wet and over his knees. He'd considered turning back as soon as he saw the snow piled on the side of the road a hundred miles ago. Then he thought he might as well keep going. He had his calendar cleared until Monday and he wanted to see his boys.

It took him almost thirty minutes to walk the half-mile into the cabin. He opened the door quietly. It was after 2200 hours and he didn't want to wake the boys if they were asleep. He left his shoes inside the entryway and padded up the stairs. He wasn't surprised to find his bedroom empty. Lee and Chip wouldn't take his bed even if he weren't there. He turned the hall light on and opened the first guest room door and stood looking in at the bed.

He could see the top of Lee's head tucked into the hollow of Chip's neck. Chip's arm was wrapped protectively across Lee. Chip and Lee. He couldn't take his eyes away from the scene. He could only see the top of Lee's head; it could be someone else. He knew it wasn't, not with the curly hair and the four feet of snow. Chip and Lee.

He stood frozen, rethinking everything he thought he knew. He realized he'd been standing there for some time when he saw Chip was staring at him, his eyes bright in the hall light and dangerous in their intensity.

Nelson gestured toward the downstairs and Chip nodded slightly. As he turned away he saw Morton kiss Lee's head as he carefully disentangled himself from the sleeping man. If he'd any doubt about what he'd seen that set them at rest. Chip and Lee. How had he not known this?

"Sir, we weren't expecting you," Chip said, walking into the main room tightening the belt on his robe.

"I dare say," Nelson said, making no effort to keep the reproach out of his voice.

"Is this the reason you were in such a hurry to find Lee, some sort of lovers spat?" Nelson kept his voice low; angry as he was he didn't want to disturb Lee. Truth was he didn't want to face Lee at that moment. Not until he'd had a chance to work his mind through this revelation and determine how he felt about it. Surely he should have seen something to indicate this relationship between two men he spent as much of his life with as he did Lee and Chip. How could he have missed this?

He knew in a sudden flash of anger that he never would have missed this. He never would have missed a love affair between these two men he knew so well. He never could have spent weeks at sea with Chip and Lee and not known this was going on. It just wasn't possible that he could be that blind. Now he understood why Lee needed to get away to think and why Chip wanted to follow him. And he had sent Chip after Lee. He had stood aside so Chip could seduce Lee while his friend was so off balance from whatever had happened on San Lucca. He cursed himself for not having forced Lee to talk to him in his office the previous day.

"How could you, Chip? You knew how vulnerable he was coming back from San Lucca, how could you have taken advantage of him in that way?"

"I didn't mean to, sir, it just happened. That's why I needed to see him, I needed to explain, to make it right." Chip kept his head up and his eyes focused beyond Nelson's shoulder as he'd been taught at Annapolis. But this was not something he'd been taught in the Naval Academy, how to tell his commanding admiral that he was sleeping with his captain. Nelson wasn't going to let him off with an apology.

"Do you know how upset Lee was when he came to see me? He was ready to leave NIMR, leave _Seaview _because of the impossible position in which you'd placed him. I can't believe you would do that."

"Me, Admiral? Where were you when he was wandering around the boat like a lost soul looking for someone who would talk to him, find out what was wrong? He looks to you for guidance; do you know how important you are to him? You let him go on those hopeless ONI missions and never say anything when he comes back beat up and worn out. I don't believe you have any right to accuse me of not caring for Lee." Chip stopped and Nelson could see him fighting for control but he wasn't willing to give him a chance to find it. If Chip was going to get down into the trenches on this Nelson was happy to join battle with him and rank be damned.

"I certainly don't think that seducing him was the solution for whatever was bothering him. You're his friend and you used your friendship to tempt him into your bed, I can't think of anything any…." Nelson was rapidly losing his temper and made no effort to prevent it. He was angry and wanted to yell at someone. Chip was the perfect target.

"He didn't, Admiral," came from the top of the stairs.

Nelson looked up to see Lee, standing on the top landing in a pair of sweat pants and a t-shirt. "It wasn't Chip's fault, I did it. I'm sorry to have disappointed you, sir," Lee came down the stairs as he was speaking to stand beside Chip. "I love him, if it took an error of judgment on my part to find that out it was worth it." Lee looked over at Chip, "and I think he loves me too."

Nelson stood looking at the two young men as they looked at each other. Chip reached out his hand and took Lee's, "Please never doubt it, I've loved you my whole life."

Nelson rubbed the back of his neck angrily. He'd driven eight hours to get to the lodge through all sorts of awful weather, had that terrible walk through the snow to spend some time with his boys, only to find he didn't know them at all. Everything he thought he knew was untrue. God, what a mess. Nelson sat down on the couch with a sigh. He needed to think what to do and he was so tired all he could think was that everything he knew about these two had been a lie, the past six months a deceit.

"Please, Admiral, we didn't mean for this to happen, it just did." Lee walked over and perched on the arm of the couch next to where Nelson sat, followed by Chip who remained standing.

"I came to see you Tuesday because Chip and I realized our love for each other wasn't what I'd always thought, wasn't fraternal, but was so much more. I thought as his commanding officer I'd over stepped the bounds and abused my power in finding that with Chip." Lee paused and looked down at his hands, slowly turning his ring around on his finger, as he seemed to look for the right words. "Chip told me it had nothing to do with my being captain and he being XO that it was our being friends. This was our relationship changing to something more. I believe that, sir."

Lee looked at Chip and then at Nelson who refused to turn toward him. Sighing softly he said, "I understand that I can't stay on _Seaview_ after this, but Admiral, please be happy for me. All my life I've looked for someone I could love, trust completely," Lee reached up and took Chip's hand in his, returning his lover's silent look, "love perfectly. So please, sir, be happy that I've found that. We didn't mean to betray your trust. We would never do that."

Lee stood up again, when Nelson still refused to look at him. "We'll leave in the morning. I wish you would keep Chip on, sir, he's a great XO and has done nothing wrong."

Nelson listened to Lee's words but he couldn't seem to get his mind to work. He so prided himself on being able to do multiple things at the same time, but he couldn't think and listen to Lee Crane at the same time.

"Wait! Sit down, let me think," he said, when he realized Chip and Lee were headed back up the stairs.

"Admiral, I'm at fault here, I'm the one that started this. I can resign and Lee and you can go on as before." Chip turned to look directly at Lee, "I can get a small place up the coast and open a diving school or charter business. We can still be together." Chip turned back to the Admiral, "Would that be alright, sir, if I leave would our still being together be a problem to Lee remaining in command?"

"It doesn't matter if it's a problem or not, I'm not leaving you." Lee said softly.

"Please, gentleman," Nelson raised his voice and his hand at the two younger men. "Please," he lowered his voice, "I get the part where you both are willing to sacrifice your careers for something that happened, if I'm understanding Lee, two nights ago. If this was a momentary indiscretion, then I would say chain of command is not of paramount importance and we can work our way through this. Some discretion on your parts in the future and we can move forward…"

"I'm sorry, sir, discretion certainly about the relationship, but," Lee looked at Chip who nodded his head, "but this is an ongoing relationship. This was not a mistake or a one time thing."

Nelson sighed and rubbed the back of his neck tiredly. "Let's talk about this in the morning, I'm tired I can't do this right now."

"Yes, sir." Lee answered for both men after a momentary pause, "Good night, sir."

Nelson made no reply and didn't look up from his contemplation of the floor between his feet as the two men walked up the stairs. When he leaned back on the couch and closed his eyes he saw Chip again looking across Lee's body in the bed at him. The fierce predatory glare in his blue eyes was not a look Nelson had ever seen before in the normally quiet, even-tempered XO. He wasn't sure what Lee thought about all of this but Chip had made his statement of intent very clear in that one look.

Nelson felt a terrible sadness descend over him. He'd been looking forward to this long weekend. Since Lee had joined the boat the three of them had become quite close, sharing dinners in town or at their respective cottages at NIMR. They'd spent nights talking and visiting, the two younger men filling a void in Nelson's life that he hadn't recognized was there until Lee and Chip had filled it. Now that was over. He realized that a major part of the anger he'd felt earlier had been jealousy that Chip was robbing him of that friendship he'd come to value so much. He looked into his future now and saw a void where he'd previously seen Lee and Chip both as comrades and friends and as successors to his dream, all gone.

He got up and walked over to the big windows. The wind was beating the snow against the glass obscuring what little view there was in the darkness, a dreary night for a dreary man he thought. He wondered if he could have said something to save the life he thought the three of them were building together, to save his happiness? He should have known this would happen. How could he have been so blind? Things changed. If it hadn't been Chip it would have been someone else, some young woman. They weren't a family; they were co-workers, to imagine anything more had been the foolish whimsy of a lonely man. He left the window and headed up the stairs.


	8. Chapter 8

Lee stood inside the door from the bathroom, looking at Chip. He was lying on the far side of the bed with the covers half turned back smiling at him. Lee paused to admire his friend. He wondered that he could have lived with Chip on the boat and spent so much time with him off duty and not realized sooner how much he meant to him?

"Come to bed," Chip said, patting the empty spot in front of him.

Lee lay down and allowed Chip to enfold him into his arms, into that place he'd found two days ago that gave him a sense of love and safety unlike anything he'd ever known before. He turned so he could rest his cheek against Chip's chest and wrap an arm over his waist. He felt Chip's breath in his hair. This was so good. How could he explain it to the admiral?

"I'm sorry about the admiral, I know how much he means to you." Chip said softly.

"I'd like to say that if he can't accept us he doesn't matter to me as much, but I'm not sure that's true…. I've admired him since I went to the Academy. He's always seemed so…together, I guess, so sure about everything, a sure place that I could guide my actions by… It's hard for me to explain." Lee closed his eyes and listened to the sound of Chip's heart beating, enjoying the warmth that was surely worth any sacrifice.

"Like a father, like the father you never had?" Chip offered when Lee thought he'd gone to sleep.

"I'm not sure, not having had anything to compare him with, but yeah in some respects and a teacher and an inspiration. I can't believe he'd be so…."

"He loves you, Lee, I think we surprised him, changed his view of what we were and what he thought was true. He's going to need some time, just like he said."

"You're not just another pretty face are you?" Lee very gently took Chip's nipple into his mouth, rimming it with his tongue. He could hear Chip's breath quicken so he wasn't surprised when he was flipped over on to his back and Chip came down on his mouth with his own. By the time they came up for breath Lee was hard and wanting Chip again.

He'd lost track in the afternoon of how many times they'd had sex; in the bed, in the kitchen after lunch, in the shower after the kitchen and then he knew the bed at least twice more. He smiled against Chip's mouth as he felt his friend's hands moving down his stomach toward his cock where it was straining for contact with something. For two men who prided themselves on their self-control they'd driven each other nearly senseless with desire and he doubted they were anywhere near finished. Each bout of love making seemed better than the one before as they learned more and more secrets of pleasing each other.

Lee rose carefully and stood in the gloomy early morning light, watching Chip sleep. He wanted to crawl back into the bed and allow his friend to again wrap him in the safety of his love. Lee stood in an uncharacteristic stasis of indecision, torn between his desire to return to Chip's arms and his need to speak to Nelson.

The sound of the outside door closing broke his reverie and he turned to find his clothes. He smiled as he dressed. This would be the most clothes he'd had on since he'd arrived at the cabin. He'd spent the previous day mostly naked with the exception of a few meals eaten in sweat pants. He wondered if living with Chip would cut down on his wardrobe budget. He guessed any savings would probably disappear at the grocery store. He liked thinking about living with Chip.

He saw the footprints in the snow outside the big French doors; Nelson must have headed down to the lake. The sky was a bright sharp blue, warning Lee that he was going to need a warm jacket if he wished to remain outside long enough to talk to the admiral. He found the jacket Chip had worn on his rescue walk two days ago. He put the coat on and sniffed the collar and was disappointed to catch no scent of his lover. Still it had been the coat Chip wore, that would need to be enough to keep him safe until he could get back to their bed.

Nelson was standing on the end of the pier, looking toward the lake. Lee knew he must hear him squeaking through the snow but the older man didn't turn or say anything as he stopped next to him. They stood in the cold morning air, watching the choppy waves on the lake. They might have stood there until they froze to death in the sharp morning wind if Lee hadn't begun coughing, a deep bronchial cough.

Nelson turned and caught Lee by the upper arm as he bent over from the pain the coughing was causing his damaged ribs.

"That doesn't sound very good," Nelson observed, when Lee straightened and caught his breath.

"Damn," Lee said, irritably, "just what I need a cold."

"Sounds worse than your average cold."

Lee glowered at Nelson for a moment before looking away when he remembered who he was glaring at. "I didn't come out here to talk about my health."

"I don't doubt that," Nelson agreed and quirked an eyebrow at Lee.

"I wanted to try and explain," Lee paused. He didn't know what to say and looked away from Nelson out over the lake while he sought the right words. "I didn't mean to deceive you, when I came to your office, I was confused, I didn't know…." Lee stopped again as he was caught by another deep cough. "I'm sorry, sir," he apologized when he got his breath back again.

"Sorry for what?"

"I fear I've handled this badly, that I've disappointed you…"

"No, no, Lee, I think I'm the one who should apologize, I don't know if I've disappointed you, but I certainly have disappointed myself."

"Sir?" Lee turned and cleared his throat only to be caught by another long cough.

"Come on, we need to get you inside before you end up in sickbay again."

"I'm fine, sir."

"I know, but humor me, come inside." Nelson rested his hand on Lee's shoulder while he waited for the younger man to look at him. "We need to talk, but not while you catch pneumonia."

Lee sighed melodramatically, "Sir, it's just a cold."

"Lee, you have no idea if it's a cold or bronchitis or pneumonia. If I've learned anything about you in the many years I've known you its that you have no interest in your health and very little knowledge of it." Nelson looked at him and waited until Lee returned his look; uncertain where Nelson was going with this but pleased they were talking.

"Sir, I need to explain, if I can its very important to me that we not part on bad terms, I don't want you to think that I deceived you. Your friendship, the past months on the _Seaview_ and at NIMR have been wonderful. I never meant to ruin any of that…" Lee stopped to cough again. "I was fine yesterday, I don't know where this came from."

Nelson laughed, "I do want to talk to you, but inside," and the two men walked toward the house through the deep snow. "I'm sorry about last night. You and Chip, you surprised me." Nelson stopped walking and gripped Lee's forearm, "I thought… I guess I didn't think is what I did."

"It's alright, sir, I… this surprised me too."

"Are you sure? This came at a difficult time for you, are you sure this is what you want?"

Lee smiled that big beautiful smile that Nelson saw so infrequently and nodded his head, "I'm so happy, I've never been this happy in my life." Lee looked away from Nelson toward the cabin, "I never even knew I could be this happy."

"Certainly sounds like all of the symptoms of being in love to me," Nelson returned Lee's smile with one of his own. "I am happy for you, Lee. I'm sorry I didn't express that last night please forgive me. We'll work this out I can't part with you and Chip, either one. We'll make this work." He squeezed Lee's forearm again before sticking his hand back in his pocket. Now let's get you inside before Chip comes out here looking for you."

"I'm fine, sir, honestly."

Nelson laughed, "I honestly believe you think so but I very much doubt it."

Nelson could smell the coffee as soon as he stepped in the door. "I think Chip must be making breakfast." He offered and putting his hand on Lee's shoulder directed him from the entryway into the kitchen.

Chip was at the stove, frying eggs when they came into the room. "Bacon's done and this is almost ready," he gestured at the food but all of his attention was focused on Lee, who stood leaning against the door jam bent almost double coughing.

"Sit down, Lee, before you fall down." Chip practically glowered as he looked at Lee. "He was out in the weather yesterday for hours, nearly froze to death before I found him."

"I'm fine." Lee's voice didn't carry much conviction as he walked over to the table, "just a little cough."

"A little cough, you're probably coming down with pneumonia." Chip expertly flipped the eggs out of the frying pan onto a large platter. As he spoke he placed the platter on the table and put his hand on Lee's forehead to feel for a fever.

Nelson watched Lee slip out from under the hand and bend toward the eggs. "Looks great, Chip."

"You've got a fever again." Chip's tone was accusatory.

"Let's eat looks great," Lee ducked from under Chip's hand again toward the platter of bacon and eggs.

"So you're prepared to eat if I'll let you sit there and not discuss the fact that you're sick?" Chip accused.

"It's just a cold, tell him, sir, I've just got a cough, he doesn't need to go all Jamie on me for a little cough."

"Admiral he needs to get some more clothes on and rest. You should have rested yesterday," there was a sudden sound of remorse in Chip's tone and Nelson looked at him carefully. Chip caught his look and blushed. Nelson had no trouble guessing what the two had been doing when not resting.

"I'm not spending my vacation resting, jeeze, Chip, you make me sound like someone's invalid grandmother. I saw skis in the entryway I thought, if you're willing, sir, I thought we could ski around the lake."

"I don't know," Chip prevaricated, "see how you feel after you eat." Nelson watched Chip flip a second egg into Lee's plate and add two more slices of bacon. "Feed a cold, eat something and we'll see about the skiing."

"My God, Chip," Lee sighed melodramatically and cut into the yolk of the egg. "There were four pairs of skis." Lee looked over at Nelson, "We could go skiing, that is," Lee looked down at his plate and continued more softly, "that is if you'd like to, sir?"

He'd been wrong. Nothing had changed. Nelson laughed out loud, "How sick are you, Lee?"

"I'm fine."

"He has a fever and he's still bruised from whatever happened on San Lucca." Chip said, with that stubborn tone that ONI and Lee always brought to his voice.

"Chip's right, eat and we'll hang around here this morning. If your cough is better we can go in the afternoon."

Lee flashed him a big smile and Nelson knew a lot of questions had been answered with that exchange. They'd included him in their argument as they always did. The relationship between Chip and Lee had certainly changed; he could see that in the way Chip smoothed Lee's hair back down before taking his own seat at the table if in nothing else. But they were still all friends. Of course, they were his friends. That'd almost been lost in the previous night's argument. Not by Chip and Lee but by him in his fear.

He'd been very foolish because he knew these two; probably better than they knew themselves. They were the bravest most honorable men he'd ever met. He smiled more broadly and of course they loved each other, who else would have been good enough for either one of them. There had been no deceit, how could there have been with these two?

He stood up and looked at the two beautiful young men in front of him and they were beautiful and they were his friends. He raised his cup of coffee in a toast. "A drink of our favorite beverage to your happiness. Forgive me for last night, for my failure to understand. I can't think any better way this could have turned out. So we'll give 'I'm fine' a morning to rest up and then we'll see about the remainder of our weekend."

"Aye, aye, sir," Chip smiled broadly.

"I'm fine," Lee said with an equally broad smile, "the finest I've ever been."

_fin_


End file.
